My Life SHOULD Be a Hollywood Comedy....SERIOUSLY!

So, I've decided that my life needs to be turned into a movie...a comedy to be exact. Because, I find my life to be VERY entertaining! Here are a few clips of the possible scenes of

Jen Kabob: the Movie!

One time, a while ago (approximately April 10, 2010, about 1 hour after college graduation, and I am frantically cleaning my apartment so I can move out....well, maybe not so frantically, because I was sad to go, but frantically all the same, because my clean check was coming ever closer, and I didn't want to be charged $800 for not dusting the closet) I was cleaning the cubby space above my closet in my bedroom at Aspen Village. Now, me being the lovely 5 foot 5 that I am couldn't reach the top, let alone the shelf inside the closet. So, I did what every normal person would do.
I got a chair.
I stood on that blue plastic chair (like the ones you find in your high school classroom), and I STILL COULDN'T REACH!
So, I took the next logical step. Literally.
I stepped on top of the dresser inside the closet.
I was standing precariously close to the edge of the dresser top, and leaning slightly back, so I could manuever my arm around and onto the top of the closet to clean out the cubby hole.
Now, why was I cleaning that cubby hole? It wasn't on the list of things to clean, but I still felt like I had to clean it. Maybe it was because I didn't want to take that load of hangers out to the car...Maybe it was because I didn't want to vacuum....Maybe it was the lack of sleep during finals week/graduation (averaged 2.5 hours of sleep a night! :) Aren't you proud?)....Maybe (and this is the reason) it was a combination of all of the above.
Nevertheless, I was cleaning, and as you guessed, the dresser fell over.
I was grasping to the top of the closet for dear life as the dresser topples and the chair is smashed by the dresser. My mom drops the 50+ hangers (no joke. I had like 50 of them, all matching, and because of that, Mom wanted to keep them.) she was carrying out to the car, and runs in to see if I'm okay.
I was.
I was just hanging onto the closet, my feet dangling in the air, and only one slipper on.
Now, ask me:
What song was playing on your laptop?

Another One Bites The Dust

Yup. Seriously. Ironic, eh?

I got down, and I was just fine. But, instead of cleaning up the dresser and chair (both of whom also escaped unharmed), I ran over a couple apartments, because I HAD to share the story with Hannah Baker.
Response from Hannah: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I forgot to tell her about the song, but I think if I had included it at that moment, she would have needed to change her pants.
Moral of the story? Don't clean the top of your closets, especially if the above mentioned song is playing and you have a wimpy dresser in your closet.

One last story?
Alright. I'll enlighten you.
And just to let you know, my mom might kill me for sharing this story in cyberspace, but it just about made me pee my pants.

My little sister, Claira, couldn't find her teddy bear, Lily. And it was bedtime.
Bad combination, right?
Of course. All little kids need their teddy bear to be able to sleep a full night's sleep and keep the boogy man away. (except for me, obviously. I slept with a stuffed koala that I named Koaly. Original, eh? I had a bunny, it was a Netherland Dwarf. I named it Netherland. And most all my fish have been Mr. Fishy. Anyway...)
So, Mom and Claira search for HOURS (in reality, it was like 20 minutes, but to Claira, it seemed like an eternity), for Lily. Mom asks, "Can you just go to bed and we'll find Lily in the morning?"
Bad question.
"NO!!!!!!!!!!! I can't sleep without Lily!"
Which is quite interesting, since Claira has only had the dumb lovely pink and white bear for a couple years. She's just about 7! What about those 5 years she never had Lily? Claira wasn't scared of the dark before Lily...I would know. She would come down into the basement to my room and throw her cup across the room, yelling, "JENN! JUICE!!!!" at around 2 am. Every day.
Back to the story:
Claira is hitting the hysterical point of her search. Mom is looking in the family room, and Claira was upstairs about to have a mental breakdown.
Then, Mom sees Claira with that blasted teddy bear walking around downstairs.
"Claira, where'd you find Lily?"
Claira's answer was classic. It will be remembered and preserved for all of posterity:
"She was hiding in my closet. She scare the hell out of me!"

Oh my, Mom tried so hard not to laugh. She sent Claira to her room and then laughed SO hard! It was one of those moments that you know you have to get mad at her, but it was just too dang precious to be too mad. Now, if Claira was 16, I'm sure that language would result in her mouth being rinsed out with soap.
But, for some reason, Claira is the cute one in the family, and also the youngest. Quite a combination. The world will need to watch out when Claira hits 16......